Why is it so hard to get what you think is best for your child? I had the big follow up meeting on all the evaluations on Chase and basically they didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. They would not come to the conclusion that he is ADHD. I don't understand why they couldn't see it. The kid moves constantly, has an attention span of a flea and cannot focus on anything for longer than 1 minute and yet they want to blame everything on where he has been. They recommended family therapy and parenting classes. Now come on, he is doing great with attachment, he has come such a long way with that, even they could not find anything "abnormal" with his attachment to me. But yet when it comes to his horrific behavior (and it has been horrible lately) they wouldn't/couldn't say that it is because he is constantly unfocused. How is he supposed to focus on being a "good boy" when he is physically unable to do so?? Needless to say I was really disheartened at the outcome of this and so was anybody and everybody that interacts with Chase on a continual basis. After I settled down from all this I called them back and had to basically beg for a different opinion; they finally relented and agreed after much discussion to refer him to their child psychiatrist for possible ADHD, but get this, we can't even get in until June, possible late May if they have a cancellation. In the meantime, while we wait to hear back when our appointment is, he is acting out terribly at school. He is back to using Russian swear words, calling his teachers the Russian word for B*%^ch! Even singing it at the top of his lungs! He is throwing things, not listening, running off, you name it, he has done it. And everyday, he comes out of school and tells me "I do better tomorrow mommy" and the next day it's worst than the day before. I don't want to seem like I am a huge advocate for drugging my kid, but where there is definitely a need, I would like to at least see it tried on him to see if it even works.
Sorry for the slow blogging lately, I know everyone has been calling and wanting to know the outcome of his evals, but I am just so frustrated/depressed about all this I just needed a little break.
This little boy is so beautiful and so special and has so much potential if we could just get beyond all this other stuff. I know there is an answer out there, they just make it so darned hard to find it!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Living in the real world
I had thought that maybe, just maybe since Chase has been doing so well for the past couple of months that maybe he might be able to go to a "normal" preschool next year. But if the past few days are any indication that we were out of the woods, I am sadly mistaken. Chase has been such a little "pill" this past week and not only at home, but at school as well. The days of the teachers telling me that he had a really good day, he was so helpful, he listened, sat and paid attention are gone for now. Hopefully they will come back. My goal for him is for him to attend a preschool with children who don't have significant issues and not get kicked out. The PPCD program he is in is fine, although Chase is probably one of if not the highest functioning kids in the class. They cater more to the more fragile kids and I think that academically he should and could be learning more. At 4.5 yo, he should know a lot more than he does and I don't foresee that he will get that if he stays in this program.
Chase had his big assessment with the Salesmanship Club on Tuesday. It was a long morning for both of us. After filling out a lot of paperwork, he had a brief physical by the nurse, he is so big, he is in the 90th percentile for height and weight! He passed the hearing exam, but was not cooperative for the vision exam. We then met with the director and found out what the rest of the morning would consist of. After that, he went into a room with the education specialist and she worked/played with him for about an hour. I got to sit in a separate room and watch thru a one way mirror. He was his usual self, constantly moving from activity to activity; the one thing that surprised me is that he wanted to know where I was, so the therapist had to bring him to me several times during his session, attachment is working! While I sat and watched him, the psychologist came and talked with me. She wanted to know what his life was like in the orphanage, what I felt his problems were, what my goals were with him; she even went so far as to ask me how I came to adopt, what my motivation was, and so on and so on. Why do the waterworks start every time I have to tell my "story"? I hate that. After time with the Ed. specialist, I was asked to go into another room and play with him and then the phone would ring and I was given instructions to do something else with him, this went on for about another hour, the whole time, we were being watched thru the one way mirror and videotaped. After we were done with that we met with the director again and I was asked how I thought it went. I told her they got a pretty good idea of what Chase was like, although not totally correct as he does pretty well when he is one on one with someone, it's when he is in a group setting like school or if I am not totally focused on him that he acts out. They plan on speaking with his teachers at the school and get their impressions of him. I have a follow up meeting with them next week Friday to find out what their findings are. The psychologist told me as we were leaving that she felt she could solve this "puzzle" of a boy. I hope so!
More news from our courtyard, she just keeps laying eggs and she is just a little bird; we are up to five today!
Chase had his big assessment with the Salesmanship Club on Tuesday. It was a long morning for both of us. After filling out a lot of paperwork, he had a brief physical by the nurse, he is so big, he is in the 90th percentile for height and weight! He passed the hearing exam, but was not cooperative for the vision exam. We then met with the director and found out what the rest of the morning would consist of. After that, he went into a room with the education specialist and she worked/played with him for about an hour. I got to sit in a separate room and watch thru a one way mirror. He was his usual self, constantly moving from activity to activity; the one thing that surprised me is that he wanted to know where I was, so the therapist had to bring him to me several times during his session, attachment is working! While I sat and watched him, the psychologist came and talked with me. She wanted to know what his life was like in the orphanage, what I felt his problems were, what my goals were with him; she even went so far as to ask me how I came to adopt, what my motivation was, and so on and so on. Why do the waterworks start every time I have to tell my "story"? I hate that. After time with the Ed. specialist, I was asked to go into another room and play with him and then the phone would ring and I was given instructions to do something else with him, this went on for about another hour, the whole time, we were being watched thru the one way mirror and videotaped. After we were done with that we met with the director again and I was asked how I thought it went. I told her they got a pretty good idea of what Chase was like, although not totally correct as he does pretty well when he is one on one with someone, it's when he is in a group setting like school or if I am not totally focused on him that he acts out. They plan on speaking with his teachers at the school and get their impressions of him. I have a follow up meeting with them next week Friday to find out what their findings are. The psychologist told me as we were leaving that she felt she could solve this "puzzle" of a boy. I hope so!
More news from our courtyard, she just keeps laying eggs and she is just a little bird; we are up to five today!
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
We are up to Quadruplets!
This is so much fun to watch everyday, how many can one little bird lay????
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Monday, April 07, 2008
Sunday, April 06, 2008
This and That
This is probably going to be just a random post about not much! It's been busy around here since spring has sprung! Working in the yard which is fun with two kids to help. Caroline and Chase are dying to get in the pool, but the water temp is only in the 50's. I know they are from Eastern Siberia, so this is probably bath water to them, but way too cold for me to go in!
Here is what Chase and I have been watching for the last week:
It's been so much fun to watch these two birds going back and forth, building this nest in a miniature rose bush on our courtyard, we went out this morning and this is what we found in it.
Chase is going for his big 4 hour assessment at the Salesmanship Club on Tuesday. This is a funny name for an organization that works with children with various different issues, his being behavior and possible ADHD. I called them back in January when I was just losing it with his everyday drama. When things finally seemed to turn the corner, it was time for his in home assessment. I thought about cancelling, but I know that we are not out of the woods yet and felt it certainly couldn't hurt. A social worker came out to the house to observe him in his home environment and then he goes to their center for this 4 hour thing. They have SW, psychologists, psychiatrists, behavioral specialists and others on their team that will work with him to see what the best plan of action is for him. Even though he is not doing anything really awful these days, he still is in constant motion and has the attention span of about 30 seconds on anything. He is also having a really difficult time with listening and following directions, I don't know if this is just typical 4.5 yo behavior or is it something else? Another thing that he is doing that is driving me nuts is that he is so destructive. He doesn't seem to destroy things on purpose, but will push and pull and do just about anything to break something, it is getting really annoying and I have told him he gets absolutely nothing new until he learns how to respect things. Yesterday, he broke a small table outside, spilled an entire large bucket of blowing bubbles (this was a pretty indestructible and spill proof container) and tore the covers off several books. On a good note, his OT retested him this past week and he has gone from testing at about a 22 month old to a 45 month old in about 5 months, not too bad! We hopefully will be discharged from OT in the next month or so.
Caroline is doing okay, the latest issue we are having is that she has become a horrible "tattle tailer". I have just about had it with her. She tells on her brother with everything and seems to take this perverse pleasure in seeing him get in trouble. She loves to repeat over and over how Chase can't do this or that because he is in time out or whatever. She finally got sent to time out herself for tattle tailing. I told her she will have no friends in school if she keeps this up. Is this typical for a 6 year old?
I've decided to hold her back in Kindergarten for next year. She has really done amazingly well for just being here for 7 months, but the expectations they place on these kids in Kindergarten are unreal. They are doing story math problems which has been a real challenge for her; she is expected to read, comprehend and solve a problem. She is expected to read and comprehend early reader and level one books, and she simply is not there yet and I don't think she will be anytime soon. Language is still an issue. I don't want her to be in a constant catch up mode throughout school and since she is so petite and also kind of immature as opposed to the other kids, her teacher and I both think it would be the best thing to do. I haven't told her yet and hope they don't make a big production at school about going on to first grade.
Lots of things seem to be falling into place now that we are home for 7 months, it has taken awhile and we still have a ways to go, but these kids are just amazing to me! They are so beautiful and their little personalities are so much fun, I have to pinch myself most days just to believe they are actually mine. I lucked out in so many areas with them and know as difficult as some things have been, the good outweigh the bad by a huge amount. Here is a slide show of pictures over the past few months.
Here is what Chase and I have been watching for the last week:
It's been so much fun to watch these two birds going back and forth, building this nest in a miniature rose bush on our courtyard, we went out this morning and this is what we found in it.
Chase is going for his big 4 hour assessment at the Salesmanship Club on Tuesday. This is a funny name for an organization that works with children with various different issues, his being behavior and possible ADHD. I called them back in January when I was just losing it with his everyday drama. When things finally seemed to turn the corner, it was time for his in home assessment. I thought about cancelling, but I know that we are not out of the woods yet and felt it certainly couldn't hurt. A social worker came out to the house to observe him in his home environment and then he goes to their center for this 4 hour thing. They have SW, psychologists, psychiatrists, behavioral specialists and others on their team that will work with him to see what the best plan of action is for him. Even though he is not doing anything really awful these days, he still is in constant motion and has the attention span of about 30 seconds on anything. He is also having a really difficult time with listening and following directions, I don't know if this is just typical 4.5 yo behavior or is it something else? Another thing that he is doing that is driving me nuts is that he is so destructive. He doesn't seem to destroy things on purpose, but will push and pull and do just about anything to break something, it is getting really annoying and I have told him he gets absolutely nothing new until he learns how to respect things. Yesterday, he broke a small table outside, spilled an entire large bucket of blowing bubbles (this was a pretty indestructible and spill proof container) and tore the covers off several books. On a good note, his OT retested him this past week and he has gone from testing at about a 22 month old to a 45 month old in about 5 months, not too bad! We hopefully will be discharged from OT in the next month or so.
Caroline is doing okay, the latest issue we are having is that she has become a horrible "tattle tailer". I have just about had it with her. She tells on her brother with everything and seems to take this perverse pleasure in seeing him get in trouble. She loves to repeat over and over how Chase can't do this or that because he is in time out or whatever. She finally got sent to time out herself for tattle tailing. I told her she will have no friends in school if she keeps this up. Is this typical for a 6 year old?
I've decided to hold her back in Kindergarten for next year. She has really done amazingly well for just being here for 7 months, but the expectations they place on these kids in Kindergarten are unreal. They are doing story math problems which has been a real challenge for her; she is expected to read, comprehend and solve a problem. She is expected to read and comprehend early reader and level one books, and she simply is not there yet and I don't think she will be anytime soon. Language is still an issue. I don't want her to be in a constant catch up mode throughout school and since she is so petite and also kind of immature as opposed to the other kids, her teacher and I both think it would be the best thing to do. I haven't told her yet and hope they don't make a big production at school about going on to first grade.
Lots of things seem to be falling into place now that we are home for 7 months, it has taken awhile and we still have a ways to go, but these kids are just amazing to me! They are so beautiful and their little personalities are so much fun, I have to pinch myself most days just to believe they are actually mine. I lucked out in so many areas with them and know as difficult as some things have been, the good outweigh the bad by a huge amount. Here is a slide show of pictures over the past few months.
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