Thursday, February 28, 2008
"You're not my friend"
We have been battling the Kindergarten "mean girls"! Lately, Caroline has been saying "You're not my friend" when she gets angry with me. She also says, "I don't love you today, but I'll love you tomorrow"! I knew this was coming from school as this is not something I have ever taught her to say. I've tried to explain to her that everyone is her friend and sometimes people make you angry, but it is usually just a mistake and that they are still your friend. Well come to find out she has been saying this to just about all the kids in her class as well as at home. I finally got so sick of it, I told her she would get a time out if she said it again. They other day, she almost said it, but caught herself at the last second and instead said "I don't like... your sweater"! She also had to apologize to everyone in her class that she has said this to. Her teachers say this is so common, especially with the girls in the second semester of school. I knew this was something that she would encounter probably in the 3rd and 4th grade, but dear Lord, it now starts in Kindergarten?! She is so excited about her birthday party this weekend, but with what's been going on at school, I'll be surprised if any of her friends show up!
Monday, February 25, 2008
6 months!
Six months ago, my sister Gail and I were sweating it out in the hitherlands of far east Russia counting the days, hours and minutes until we could leave that God forsaken place. Birobidzhan had two great things going for it: My children and a local beer called "T". Not too much else. The people who were involved in the adoption process there are all wonderful, but if I never see it again, that would be just fine. It amazes me sometimes how people who speak of the wonderful care their children received while in the orphanages in Russia; my children were well cared for physically, but when I see the difficulty my son has with his behavior, I know that is a direct result of being in the orphanage system. He is on the extreme end of "attention seeking behavior". His behavior is stemmed in the fact that he never received any positive attention, the only way he knows to get someone to notice him is to behave badly. He figures any attention, even if it is negative is better than none. Could it have been so difficult for those caregivers to say "good boy" once in a while? To praise him for achievements rather than shower him with attention when he misbehaved? I realize that the system works on a shoestring budget, but it does not cost money to encourage a kid and build up his self esteem; and it does not take a rocket scientist to figure that out either! Yes the orphanages are spotless, we saw them ironing the draperies when we were there! but I think their time would be much better spent interacting with these children and giving them some positive emotional reinforcements. Granted an orphanage is not an ideal situation for any child to be in, but when they say they do the best they can with what they have, I don't buy it! I know I'm getting off on a tangent here because of my frustration with Chase, but really, if you are a person involved with adoptions in Russia and reading this; please take this to heart and work on the emotional well being of these kids as well.
Okay, enough about my frustrations. Six months is milestone and sometimes it feels like we have been together for 6 years and other times it feels like about 6 minutes! Our SW was amazed at the progress my kids have made in the time they have been home. She was here about a month after we got home and then again for our 6 month post placement visit. It's nice to hear someone notices the positive changes that have taken place, albeit small, sometimes we don't notice when we are around them all the time.
Caroline is doing very well. She is learning to read! I don't remember learning to read that early in Kindergarten, but that was a loooooooong time ago. I was surprised though that she is farther behind then her peers than I thought. I sometimes feel like I am pushing her through two years of preschool and 6 months of Kindergarten all in the past 6 months just to get her to catch up. What I did find out after speaking with her teachers (both K and ESL) is that it takes an ESL student 2 years to speak "social" language and 7 years to speak "educational" language. Caroline is having a hard time deciphering between letters, words and numbers. She can count to 100, but if you ask her to find "the number 76" on a board, she doesn't have a clue what you are taking about and would not be able to find it. She also doesn't understand words are made up of letters, when you ask her to read a word aloud, if it is not one of her "sight" words, she spells it for you rather than reading, or sounding it out. We've got some work to do but now that I have identified what the problems are, it's much easier to work on it. The good thing is, is that Chase is picking up on this and learning right along with Caroline and what a great preparation for Kindergarten for him in another year.
We have a big birthday celebration coming up next weekend; Caroline is going to be six years old! She is so excited and so am I. We are having a "Hip Hop Dancing Party" Caroline loves to dance and I really wanted a party that would include the boys she is close to in her class, so Hip Hop is what I came up with.
She is having her party at the dance training center for the Dallas Maverick (Pro Basketball Team) Cheerleaders and one of the dancers is teaching the class to them! I think it's gonna be so much fun! We're having pizza and Caroline wants a cupcake birthday cake so I've ordered one from Sprinkles. I've made up little favor bags for the girls with these cute, cute, cute hats that I got at a store called Justice - just for girls, and for the boys, I got visors with the emblem of their school on it, they will also both get sunglasses and friendship bracelets; all very "Hip Hoppy". I hope they like them! I think they turned out just adorable. It amazes me how these kids parties have gotten so big, I remember just coming over to someones house and playing musical chairs and pin the tail on the donkey! It shows you how old I am! And getting older, my birthday is two days after Carolines!
I'm sure there is a lot more that has been going on around here, I just can't think of all of it. I'm nursing a sore hip right now, I've had significant pain in my left upper leg for 6 months now and have been diagnosed with bursitis - isn't that an old person's issue? (can you tell I'm sensitive about my upcoming birthday?) Well the celebrex didn't work, so the ortho gave me a shot of cortisone in my hip today and ordered 6 weeks of physical therapy, I think the soreness of the shot hurts more than my leg now!
Jane
Okay, enough about my frustrations. Six months is milestone and sometimes it feels like we have been together for 6 years and other times it feels like about 6 minutes! Our SW was amazed at the progress my kids have made in the time they have been home. She was here about a month after we got home and then again for our 6 month post placement visit. It's nice to hear someone notices the positive changes that have taken place, albeit small, sometimes we don't notice when we are around them all the time.
Caroline is doing very well. She is learning to read! I don't remember learning to read that early in Kindergarten, but that was a loooooooong time ago. I was surprised though that she is farther behind then her peers than I thought. I sometimes feel like I am pushing her through two years of preschool and 6 months of Kindergarten all in the past 6 months just to get her to catch up. What I did find out after speaking with her teachers (both K and ESL) is that it takes an ESL student 2 years to speak "social" language and 7 years to speak "educational" language. Caroline is having a hard time deciphering between letters, words and numbers. She can count to 100, but if you ask her to find "the number 76" on a board, she doesn't have a clue what you are taking about and would not be able to find it. She also doesn't understand words are made up of letters, when you ask her to read a word aloud, if it is not one of her "sight" words, she spells it for you rather than reading, or sounding it out. We've got some work to do but now that I have identified what the problems are, it's much easier to work on it. The good thing is, is that Chase is picking up on this and learning right along with Caroline and what a great preparation for Kindergarten for him in another year.
We have a big birthday celebration coming up next weekend; Caroline is going to be six years old! She is so excited and so am I. We are having a "Hip Hop Dancing Party" Caroline loves to dance and I really wanted a party that would include the boys she is close to in her class, so Hip Hop is what I came up with.
She is having her party at the dance training center for the Dallas Maverick (Pro Basketball Team) Cheerleaders and one of the dancers is teaching the class to them! I think it's gonna be so much fun! We're having pizza and Caroline wants a cupcake birthday cake so I've ordered one from Sprinkles. I've made up little favor bags for the girls with these cute, cute, cute hats that I got at a store called Justice - just for girls, and for the boys, I got visors with the emblem of their school on it, they will also both get sunglasses and friendship bracelets; all very "Hip Hoppy". I hope they like them! I think they turned out just adorable. It amazes me how these kids parties have gotten so big, I remember just coming over to someones house and playing musical chairs and pin the tail on the donkey! It shows you how old I am! And getting older, my birthday is two days after Carolines!
I'm sure there is a lot more that has been going on around here, I just can't think of all of it. I'm nursing a sore hip right now, I've had significant pain in my left upper leg for 6 months now and have been diagnosed with bursitis - isn't that an old person's issue? (can you tell I'm sensitive about my upcoming birthday?) Well the celebrex didn't work, so the ortho gave me a shot of cortisone in my hip today and ordered 6 weeks of physical therapy, I think the soreness of the shot hurts more than my leg now!
Jane
Saturday, February 23, 2008
I know, I know, I know... Long time no blog!
Just because I have been such a slacker, I have gone ahead and given the site a new look, do you like it? I think it's still a work in progress, so I may make some changes to it. The pictures on my header are of Caroline and Chase shortly after we got home and I used them for their adoption announcements; I think they are such beautiful pictures, I thought I would share them with everyone. By the way, I got the idea from another blogger friend who is way more creative than me, Rachael.
Life has been a little, I don't know what you would call it? Chaotic??? Funky???Difficult??? Probably a little of all that and more. This motherhood stuff is hard, hard, hard! And I have really been struggling lately
Chase has been having a difficult time of late and I'm am having a difficult time handling it. He is such a sweet and precious little boy and it breaks my heart to see him have such difficulty adjusting to different situations. He is in the school district's PPCD program Monday thru Friday from 8am to 11am; he is doing okay, although most days lately are measured by how many time outs he gets. He is incredibly smart and his language skills are just exploding weekly; he is speaking in full sentences, and for the most part you can understand him although there are a few words that I have to interpret for people. Not too bad for a 4 year old that's only been here for 6 months. It's his behavior that is such an issue. He is not violent or aggressive, he is just constantly "busy". He doesn't like to listen, and will just take off running just to see what your reaction will be, most times I try and ignore it, but if he's in a dangerous position, I have to react strongly which is exactly what he wants. I tried to put him in a daycare/preschool after his PPCD class ended at 11am and that was a total disaster; every day there was more and more drama with him, he reverted back to behaviors that had all but disappeared, hitting, biting, kicking and swearing! I finally had enough and pulled him out after 2.5 weeks, now I feel like we're working all over again to correct those habits. He is now home with me again and I am now going to resort to finding a nanny for him. His teacher at school is making a referral to a behavior specialist at my request; I also signed up for "Love and Logic" parenting classes, and I called his pediatrician and got the names of physicians that deal with behavior issues with young kids, his first appointment is not until July! Hopefully his pedi can pull some strings and get us in quicker. From what I understand with the school district and his pediatrician, it is unlikely that anyone will diagnose him with ADHD at this young age, they want to wait until he is at least 7 years old to do that, I don't know if I can hold on that long! Someone is going on meds and if not him, it's gonna be me! I did start him on Omega 3 fatty acids and "Attentive Child" mineral supplement; I have no idea if it works or not, the only change I have noticed is that his language skills have increased tremendously since I started giving it to him; whether that is from the supplements or a natural cause to his school, I don't know. Everyone that works with him says he is such a "puzzle", and underneath all of these issues everybody can see such a great kid with so much potential.
On a brighter note, Chase's favorite book is "Goodnight Moon". The Dallas Children's Theater was presenting the musical version of the story, so I took both Caroline and Chase to today's matinee. I was terrified of how Chase would do for 1.5 hours having to sit still and boy was I surprised! He sat on the edge of his seat for the entire show and loved every bit of it! He got a little antsy about the last ten minutes but so did half the theater. I was so proud of him! There is hope!!
Okay, I don't want to overwhelm you with everything all at once! So I will post again tomorrow (promise!) with the rest of the news.
Jane
Life has been a little, I don't know what you would call it? Chaotic??? Funky???Difficult??? Probably a little of all that and more. This motherhood stuff is hard, hard, hard! And I have really been struggling lately
Chase has been having a difficult time of late and I'm am having a difficult time handling it. He is such a sweet and precious little boy and it breaks my heart to see him have such difficulty adjusting to different situations. He is in the school district's PPCD program Monday thru Friday from 8am to 11am; he is doing okay, although most days lately are measured by how many time outs he gets. He is incredibly smart and his language skills are just exploding weekly; he is speaking in full sentences, and for the most part you can understand him although there are a few words that I have to interpret for people. Not too bad for a 4 year old that's only been here for 6 months. It's his behavior that is such an issue. He is not violent or aggressive, he is just constantly "busy". He doesn't like to listen, and will just take off running just to see what your reaction will be, most times I try and ignore it, but if he's in a dangerous position, I have to react strongly which is exactly what he wants. I tried to put him in a daycare/preschool after his PPCD class ended at 11am and that was a total disaster; every day there was more and more drama with him, he reverted back to behaviors that had all but disappeared, hitting, biting, kicking and swearing! I finally had enough and pulled him out after 2.5 weeks, now I feel like we're working all over again to correct those habits. He is now home with me again and I am now going to resort to finding a nanny for him. His teacher at school is making a referral to a behavior specialist at my request; I also signed up for "Love and Logic" parenting classes, and I called his pediatrician and got the names of physicians that deal with behavior issues with young kids, his first appointment is not until July! Hopefully his pedi can pull some strings and get us in quicker. From what I understand with the school district and his pediatrician, it is unlikely that anyone will diagnose him with ADHD at this young age, they want to wait until he is at least 7 years old to do that, I don't know if I can hold on that long! Someone is going on meds and if not him, it's gonna be me! I did start him on Omega 3 fatty acids and "Attentive Child" mineral supplement; I have no idea if it works or not, the only change I have noticed is that his language skills have increased tremendously since I started giving it to him; whether that is from the supplements or a natural cause to his school, I don't know. Everyone that works with him says he is such a "puzzle", and underneath all of these issues everybody can see such a great kid with so much potential.
On a brighter note, Chase's favorite book is "Goodnight Moon". The Dallas Children's Theater was presenting the musical version of the story, so I took both Caroline and Chase to today's matinee. I was terrified of how Chase would do for 1.5 hours having to sit still and boy was I surprised! He sat on the edge of his seat for the entire show and loved every bit of it! He got a little antsy about the last ten minutes but so did half the theater. I was so proud of him! There is hope!!
Okay, I don't want to overwhelm you with everything all at once! So I will post again tomorrow (promise!) with the rest of the news.
Jane
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